Nice Weekend

I really enjoyed this past weekend.  It was jam packed full of things that I really enjoyed.  So much so, in fact, that it's almost hard to know where to start.  I suppose that chronologically is best, so here goes...

The weekend before last, while camping in Texas, I managed to bust a hole in the passenger tail light of Jodi's car.  I bumped it with the cooler's plastic wheel while trying to load the cooler back in the truck of the car.  The plastic of the tail light was the weaker of the two plastics, evidently.  It wasn't a hard bump but was more than sufficient to require a new tail light.  I say all this to say that the blinker also quit working and made me nervous because the bulb looked fine.  However, I bought some replacement bulbs after work on Friday and that was the problem after all.  So, that was a relief.  A good start to the weekend.

Goodbye, 84 body.  We hardly knew each other.

Saturday morning was a nice homemade breakfast with my family followed by the sale of the body to my 1984 Ford F150 at full asking price.  Woo hoo!  As mentioned in the last blog, I had it listed for sale on Craigslist and while I had talked to lots of people who claimed they wanted to buy it, I started to wonder if I would get it sold since no one had made any effort to actually see it in person yet.  I'm glad to make the space and liquidate the unnecessary asset.

I had time to mow and weed eat which is a huge chore, but one that I kind of enjoy doing.  While doing the weed eating, I listened to Leeland's new album, Invisible.  It was available to stream for free for the weekend only.  It's a great album!  We went ahead and pre-ordered it.  It is set to be available on July 22.  Afterwards, some family showed up to come with us to a church fireworks display to which our neighbors had invited us.  It was good to get to hang out with them and get to know them better.  They're a really nice family.  The children got to play on inflatables, the fireworks were fun to see, we had some good food, and got to spend some time with family and new friends.

Lyric successfully frog hopping his way across the balls.

Sunday afternoon was a small watch party at Qdoba to see the Euro 2016 final match between underdog Portugal and host country France battling it out on the pitch.  Portugal's star player, Cristiano Ronaldo, was injured shortly after the game began and despite making a valiant effort to continue on through the pain, he reluctantly and emotionally called to be taken off.  Without their captain, Portugal held off France well into extra time when a Portuguese substitute managed to blast in a goal from almost 25 yards out.  It was an unlikely goal from an unlikely source, but it was the only one of the match and it gave Portugal their first ever major tournament trophy while breaking a 41-year run of France defeating them.  It was certainly an amazing game to see as well as a satisfactory finish to a summer of international soccer watching.  With Copa America complete and now with Euro 2016 over, I go back to being a non sports-watcher.  Not that I'm complaining!  While I enjoy the tournaments, I'm equally looking forward to all the things I will have time to do now.

After the watch party and a stop at Lowe's for some trim, we headed down to Busiek State Park to hang out and let the kids play.  It was a nice finish to a nice weekend. :)

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Friends: The Least of Your Priorities

I wrote about friendships over four years ago in the blog titled, Friends for a Season.  Then, I wrote about what friendships looked like both on and off Facebook in the blog, Goodbye, Facebook, that I penned just before I deleted my Facebook account in September of last year.

I just read a very long article about friendships and how they change over the years of a person's lifetime.  But, don't let me discourage you from reading it.  I found it to be pretty interesting.  So, if you feel like a long read about friendships, stop reading this right now and click the link to the actual article above.  However, If you'd rather see some snippets from the article about what I thought was interesting enough to elaborate on then please continue.  I promise that mine is shorter.

The understood uniformity about friendships is that people consider them very important.  However, in reality, they get pushed to the bottom of the relationship hierarchy which looks more like:

1. Spouse
2. Children
3. Extended Family
4. Friends

 When you think about, it's true that a friend-relationship can survive with months in-between times of communication.  Though, the more you go up the hierarchy, the more communication is required.  Clearly, if months went by without communication from your spouse, there would more likely be court proceedings being scheduled than a movie night.  However, in most cases of 30-something friendships, the requirement for communication measurably lessens due to people's increased commitments.  As teenagers, if your friend went two days without talking to you, you'd think that something was up; a week and you'd know that your friendship was over.  Whereas, as 30-somethings, an April to September span between conversations might even go unmentioned let alone fretted over.

The article claims to present four main levels of maintaining a relationship.  (However, I only could find two that they spoke about, so it remains a mystery what the other two may be.)

The first is just keeping a relationship alive at all, just to keep it in existence. Saying “Happy Birthday” on Facebook, faving a friend’s tweet—these are the life support machines of friendship. They keep it breathing, but mechanically.

I touched on this in my Facebook departure blog.  It's these sorts of attempts at maintaining something that's probably worth pulling the plug on that just got on my nerves.  I mean... really...why put off the inevitable.  It was time to rip off the band-aid.

Next is to keep a relationship at a stable level of closeness. “I think you can do that online too,” Langan says. “Because the platforms are broad enough in terms of being able to write a message, being able to send some support comments if necessary.” It’s sometimes possible to repair a relationship online, too, (another maintenance level) depending on how badly it was broken—getting back in touch with someone, or sending a heartfelt apology email.

I can see this.  Not every relationship I had on Facebook was a shallow one that deserved to die.  But, just because the social platform is built doesn't mean everyone has to get on it.  This sort of social life didn't exist 20 years ago.  I pity the mindset that believes it's now a requirement for social connectivity.  There are other ways, people. (Sorry if I sounded like Mr. T there for a second.)

“But then when you get to the next level, which is: Can I make it a satisfying relationship? That’s where I think the line starts to break down,” Langan says. “Because what happens often is people think of satisfying relationships as being more than an online presence.”
Social media makes it possible to maintain more friendships, but more shallowly. And it can also keep relationships on life support that would (and maybe should) otherwise have died out.

Amen.

By middle-age, people have likely accumulated many friends from different jobs, different cities, and different activities, who don’t know each other at all. These friendships fall into three categories: active, dormant, and commemorative. Friendships are active if you are in touch regularly, you could call on them for emotional support and it wouldn’t be strange, if you pretty much know what’s going on with their lives at this moment. A dormant friendship has history, maybe you haven’t talked in a while, but you still think of that person as a friend. You’d be happy to hear from them and if you were in their city, you’d definitely meet up.
A commemorative friend is not someone you expect to hear from, or see, maybe ever again. But they were important to you at an earlier time in your life, and you think of them fondly for that reason, and still consider them a friend.
Facebook makes things awkward by keeping these friends continually in your peripheral vision. It violates what I’ll call the camp-friend rule of commemorative friendships: No matter how close you were with your best friend from summer camp, it is always awkward to try to stay in touch when school starts again. Because your camp self is not your school self, and it dilutes the magic of the memory a little to try to attempt a pale imitation at what you had.
The same goes for friends you only see online. If you never see your friends in person, you’re not really sharing experiences so much as just keeping each other updated on your separate lives. It becomes a relationship based on storytelling rather than shared living—not bad, just not the same.

Perhaps friends are more willing to forgive long lapses in communication because they’re feeling life’s velocity acutely too. It’s sad, sure, that we stop relying on our friends as much when we grow up, but it allows for a different kind of relationship, based on a mutual understanding of each other’s human limitations. It’s not ideal, but it’s real, as Rawlins might say. Friendship is a relationship with no strings attached except the ones you choose to tie, one that’s just about being there, as best as you can.

Not every one gets this.  But, I think that most do.  It's an unfortunate fact that adults will get hurt from time to time by their friend's lack of communication.  But, it's imperative that we understand our own limitations and those of our friends, as well.  I think that a healthy embrace of our limitations can help relax the expectations we place on others, which in turn can protect us from getting hurt.

The older I get, the more I have come to embrace my limitations.  If I don't have any time to dedicate to people because of my current commitments to fill, it would be wrong of me to let on that I might have time by saying things like, "We should get together some time" or replying with, "Yeah, we should" when they tell me this.  It would be better to reply with "That would be nice. Maybe when (fill-in-the-blank-with-current-time-consuming-activity) is over we could do that because that is sure limiting the amount of free time I have right now."

This is, of course, assuming that you would want to spend time with this person.  Because, if you don't then don't make any promises.  That doesn't do anyone any favors.

Some of you right now might be thinking I'm kind of a jerk.  And, maybe I am.  I don't know.  But, I am trying to put honesty into practice when it comes down to social activities.  Being polite and tactful is obviously important, but not to the extent that we're lying to people to spare their feelings now just to have them disappointed with your lack of availability later.

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Kingsmen

We just wrapped up our first indoor soccer session this week with a solid 11-3 win over the Headhunters.  It was a great game where we showed some impressive defensive skills and perhaps an even better offensive display of composed ball possession.  It was a game to be proud of, for sure.

What was more impressive than the game we played was the results of the season.  We went undefeated.  I've never been on a team that had an undefeated season before.  We came out the first game with a tie that was quite the battle to witness.  It was back and forth the whole game and ended 9-9.  That's a hefty goal count for a soccer game, even for indoor.

Every game after that was a win.  But, with the exception of one game that was a forfeit due to the opposing team only having two players show, none of the wins were handed to us or came easily.  Several of the games could have easily gone the other way.

I love soccer.  And, I forgot how much I missed playing competitively.  The next session starts up in a couple weeks and I'm looking forward to it.  The top three teams from this session's results will stay in this grouping and welcome three new teams to it, while the other three teams will drop down to the next level.

I fully intend to get a proper group photo at the start of the next session.  I'll have to add it to this blog once I get it.

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Goodbye, Facebook

I have decided to delete my facebook account.  It was an easy decision to make, yet did not go without several instances of personal reluctance to do so.

Why?  This is the question I keep getting asked by those who have a facebook account.  I'm not getting asked this question by those who don't have one.  Because, they don't know I'm deleting my account.  And, they don't care.  I look forward to being one of those people.

There is a grand myriad of reasons why I am tossing off the yoke of facebook.  I couldn't list them all if I tried, but I can list some of the top reasons that immediately come to mind.  They are, in no particular order:

• Lack of security.
• Facebook is a business.  They sell your information.  They always have.  And, they don't hide or apologize for this.  It's genius, really.  They have created a motive to get people to willingly profile and track themselves.  Since this information is so specific, it's very valuable for marketing.  Marketing you, that is.
• It's not reality.
•  What people post on facebook doesn't usually say much about them at all.  I cannot compare the time I have spent with friends with the time I have spent reading those same friends' facebook posts.  Time spent with friends is meaningful and I get to know them well.  That time is real and so is the content.  I can't say the same for facebook.
• It's not a responsible use of my time.
• I am married.  I am a father of three children.  I am involved in my church.  I work 50 hours a week.  I have many real friends.  I am renovating a house.  I am restoring a car.  I am coaching a soccer team.  Etc.  Etc.
• With all that I have going on in my life, I don't have time to maintain a digital profile of myself for others' sake of "knowing" me.  Nor, do I have time to browse an endless sea of junk to spot the few tidbits of "knowing" others.
• Define "friends"
• Let's face it.  I'm not friends with most of my facebook's friends list.  I've even been pretty picky about whose friend requests I've accepted.  Still, if not for facebook, I wouldn't know two cents about a lot of people and those people wouldn't know two cents about me.  That's not a bad thing. 
• I know things that I'd rather not know.
• Some of my facebook "friends" and I have not seen eye to eye on things.  And, while it's no requirement of mine that those I associate myself with carry all my same values, I wish there were some others' soapbox speeches I hadn't been exposed to.  I wonder if I would be better friends with some people if I weren't subconsciously using my "facebook impression" of them as a screening tool.  Don't hate on me.  You do it, too.  The difference is that I'm admitting it.
• I read that "Facebook Erodes Real Community" and I agree.
• I know that people don't make as much of an effort to visit friends since the introduction of facebook.  Why would I see that friend I haven't seen in three years when I've seen every post of his/hers since our last visit.  What could I possibly catch up on with them since we're already "caught up".  At the very least, it stands as a seemingly valid justification to put off visiting someone.
• What am I teaching my children?
• Do I want my children to be on facebook?  Maybe you do and that's fine.  Use your own judgement for what's good for your children.  But, I don't know that I want mine on there being exposed to an online social world where people say and do things that they wouldn't say or do in person.  Or, maybe I would allow them to have a limited profile with some heavy monitoring.  I don't know.  But, seriously, when I think about it, I think of how heavy of a burden to parenting it will be if or when it comes up.  Maybe things like that are better left to adults.  Regardless of how I want my children to use or not use it, one thing is for sure: I can't legitimately limit or restrict it's use for my children while I have given myself no limits or restrictions.
• At the end of my life, what total number of hours spent on facebook would satisfy me?
• 1,000?  100?  2?  It seems that whatever the number winds up being, it isn't anything to be proud of.  I tend to think that the greater the number the greater the shame, actually.  I'm glad that I don't know how much time I've burned scrolling, commenting, and liking.  It's too late for me to have 0 in that category.  But, it's certainly not too late to stop the number dead in its tracks.

I could go on, I'm sure, but then I'd be wasting my time doing this.  Plus, my lunch hour is over.  Time to get back to work.

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Finished Deck Photo (Finally)

One thing that keeps me from writing a lot more blogs about our home improvement projects is that when we get done with a project, another one usually has already begun.  Such was the case with the deck.  Although, another reason the finished photo never got taken was because the siding wasn't done.  I didn't want the newly finished deck to be overshadowed by the house that was in desperate need of a facelift.

So, the last photo of the deck I wrote about was while it was still under construction.  As you can see, the railing wasn't up.  The privacy fence wasn't complete.  The gate hadn't been built.  The right door needed painted.  The siding needed replaced.  And, the yard was a mess.

All of these are fine for a photo while it is under construction.  But, the level of expectation goes up for the finished product.  Take Extreme Home Makeover for example.  Imagine if they still had tools lying about during the unveiling.  Picture them "moving that bus" to reveal a beautifully renovated home with a ladder leaning up against the roof, bare patches of dirt in the lawn, and a short stack of paint cans on the porch.

This is my dilemma.  I don't like taking that finished photo until it's TV quality.  But, perhaps, I'm too hard on myself.  Maybe it's ok to see tools lying around.  Maybe no one but myself cares, after all.

So, here it is.  You might take notice that it's not 100% complete.  I still have to finish the underpinning on the east side (or bottom-right to you).  One thing that came as a surprise to me is that the two brands of wood that we used for the decking both weathered to look the same.  I knew that they would weather closer to the same, but I didn't at all expect that I wouldn't be able to differentiate between them after a single season.  Not that I'm complaining.

We just started prepping the ground last night to lay our brick patio.  That's pretty exciting.  We got the masonry lines ran for leveling, the ditch dug for the buried drain pipe, the pile of pea gravel moved out of the way, some of the leveling complete, and the perimeter line laid.

When my father-in-law saw the size of our deck for the first time he humorously asked, "You trying to get out of mowing?"  Jodi and I just figured that if you're going to do it, then you might as well go ahead and do it.  You know?  The deck is a great size and is a perfect spot for outdoor entertaining.  With the installation of the brick patio, our outdoor space will finally be complete.  However, with around 1100 square feet of combined deck and patio space, my father-in-law will most likely be certain of my disdain for mowing.

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World Cup Excitement - Free Download

ATTENTION! If you downloaded the World Cup spreadsheet before June 21, 2014 then you have a copy that has errors.  A fixed version is now available for download here with scores filled out up to June 21 or for a blank version download this one.

I apologize for the calculation error.  Technically, it's not my fault.  I originally built this spreadsheet in Microsoft Excel 2003.  Since the first round is a point system that breaks ties in points by goal difference and ties in goal difference by total goals scored, the formulas to determine the ranking for each group are surprisingly difficult to write.  I wrote formulas with multiple nested formulas within them.  Microsoft reduced the number of formulas for which you can nest within other formulas in Microsoft Excel 2010.  So, the formulas were logically correct but disallowed by the newer version of Excel that I am using.  As a result, the ranking of teams within Group play were not calculated and no teams were pulled over into Round 2.  Thanks, Microsoft, for that "improvement" (eye roll).

UPDATE:  For a free downloadable and printable poster of the brackets, go to my newest post and click on the link for the download.

FIFA World Cup 2014 is coming up and this guy is getting excited.  The weekend before last was the draw and so the official schedule has been filled and is ready to go.

So, without hesitation, I built my Microsoft Excel spreadsheet to keep up with all the games.  It's in the same user-friendly interface as it's been when I originally designed it for World Cup 2006.  I updated it a little bit, but I was afraid to get into the formulas too much because I keep getting a warning about too many arguments being nested within single cells.  Apparently, I was able to do more within a single cell in Microsoft Excel 2003 than in the 2010 version I have now.

Anyway, it works like a charm with no more interaction from the user than entering the final scores of each game.  In Round 1, it does all the math for you on the fly in regards to team points, total goals scored, total goals scored against, and total goal difference.  Basically, every scenario that might possibly be used to determine final ranking in Round 1 to see who makes it into Round 2 and who doesn't.

In Round 2, in the event of a tied game going into penalty shots for a tie breaker, a box pops up to allow the user to enter the penalty shots results.

It's a fun way to follow along with all the games.  Otherwise, with 64 games being played in roughly a month, it's easy to just miss a good portion of the action.

I considered marketing this sheet of mine, selling it online for download for something like a dollar.  But, after some investigation, I found out that FIFA holds exclusive rights for a lot more than I thought.  I would have been infringing on the intellectual property rights of FIFA had I done something like that.  Perhaps, on Microsoft, as well.

So, here it is for free.  Also, it will be available in the 'Downloads' drop-down menu at the top of this blog.  FIFA can't sue me for distributing it this way.   Well, they can, I guess, but they won't win since I am adhering to their legal requirements.

• I'm receiving no monetary benefits in the distribution of this file, nor any other form of compensation.
• I'm not using this distribution as a means to advertise any product or company.
• The file contains no copy-written or otherwise protected images belonging to FIFA or any of its affiliates.
• The file does not contain excessive words or phrases registered as intellectual property of FIFA or any of its affiliates.
• The purpose of distribution of this file is to excite a fan base and increase the number of individuals watching the World Cup in 2014, which is FIFA's own product.

P.S.  FIFA, if you are reading this, don't get mad.  You don't want to sue me.  You want to hire me.

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Thanksgiving Deck

Sorry for slacking off with the updates.  This Thanksgiving was a success, I believe.  We hosted it at our house for my wife's family.  We also had some friends of ours and their children with us since they have no family in town.  It was fun and there was some great food, as always.  I ate a nice lunch and then found myself maintaining a fullness through 5 o'clock through random bites of the various dishes every 10 to 15 minutes.

We got quite a bit accomplished with the deck over the long holiday weekend, though, not quite as much as I would have liked.  I'm notorious for underestimating the time it takes to do a home improvement project.  This is why I would make out to be a terrible contractor.  I would underbid labor every time.

All the decking is down. Woo hoo!  (Forgive me.  These photos are from Thanksgiving morning.  I haven't taken any since.)  And, now I'm working on the stairs from the yard to the deck.  It took pretty much all of yesterday, unnecessarily.  When I laid out my stringer plan for the lower stairs, I drew them correctly but then wrote the wrong measurement on my drawing.  So, I wound up making the top step too deep, not compensating for the fact that I was using the existing deck skirting as my top riser.  So, I got the stairs built and realized that there wasn't enough overhang to allow for closed risers.  Well, that's not a compromise my wife we could live with. ;)

As much as I love undoing something, I undid my stair construction, disconnected all my stringers trimmed off the extra 1 1/2", and reinstalled all of them.  I was planning on finishing that set of stairs last night, but I broke my last driver bit.  Speaking of which, the Irwin impact driver bits I bought are great.  I commend them despite the fact that I have made my way through all four that I bought (broke 3, lost 1).  I've been pretty abusive with them and they have all performed wonderfully until my abuse finally became too much for them, to no real fault of their own.  Like anything, they have a lifespan, but a very long one, comparatively speaking.

I really like how the decking looks with the custom "tree-shaped" hole, especially with all the herringbone pattern lines of connection radiating outward from it.  For the record, because everyone feels the need to warn us of tree growth, the joists are 6-8 inches away from the tree.  The closest deck boards are actually being held up by false joists that are connected to the adjacent deck boards.  Therefore, when the tree finally reaches the deck boards in a few years, they can easily be pulled up by removing a few screws, trimmed, and put back down for several more years of enjoyment.  It shouldn't become an issue with the joists for 15 years at the very minimum.

As a little side note bonus, here's a not-very-exciting before and after of the bottom of our front door.  Clearly, we were in need of a new weather strip for the bottom of the door.  I wonder how long it will take to save in utilities the $9.99 it cost me for the strip?  I know.  This was totally off subject.  I just like before and after photos.

Tonight, I plan to finish the stairs to the back yard and get the small staircase towards the front yard finished, as well.  I don't believe that this is underestimation at work here.  But, only time will tell.  After that?  Privacy wall and deck rails.

Here's a quick link to the next deck update blog.

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Grouponitis

My friend Ralph and I were having a discussion a while back and he said something profound that made me think about it several times since then.  He pointed out the problem with using Groupon to market your business.

He explained that when consumers use Groupon for a product or service, they may feel good about the deal that they just received, but they also will likely associate that good or service with the price that they paid.  Here lies the problem.  If you get a nice meal for your family for $30 at a restaurant you've never been to before, you likely won't feel good about visiting that restaurant again at a later date and getting the same meal with a bill for $50.  So, in essence, by offering your goods or services at a discounted rate, you are inevitably setting the value in the minds of the customers that take advantage of this rate.  So, while you may certainly generate some extra business at a minimal profit, you won't likely gain any repeat customers.

And, he's right.  I have personally experienced this where I have not returned to a restaurant after our first visit with a Groupon in hand.  It was at ReRico Brazillian Grill. Well, actually I did return but only with another Groupon in my pocket and I haven't been back since.  And, my failure to return has not been for any lack of quality or quantity.  With excellent food and all of it you can handle, they have both mastered.  It's because I'm in no hurry to go drop $50+tip for a meal.

Contrast that with my experience of having first shopped at Devo (olive oils and balsamics) before I knew of Groupon.  Yes, it's pretty expensive but we loved the quality and it opened us up to new recipes and some fun experimentation in the kitchen. One day I bought a $25 Groupon for $50 at Devo. Score!  But, I've shopped there since then, too.  The difference?  The Groupon didn't set the value since the value had already been set in my mind.  And, that's just it.  This is a matter of perceived value.

So, since this initial conversation, I've given this much thought and wondered how this may apply to other areas of our lives.  For example, teenagers with new driver's licenses might "peel out" in their cars, "power brake", skid to a stop, or otherwise quickly ruin their tires.  Make that same teenager purchase his/her own set of new tires and you'll find that same young driver all of a sudden with a new found sense of content with driving responsibly.  The teen simply didn't value the tires until they were made to shell out the $500 +/- it takes to replace them.

Worse than the tires, is when people fail to value services.  Failing to value goods can have detrimental effects, sure.  However, services have people directly tied to them.  So, it's even worse because now it's not just a failure to value something.  It's a failure to value someone.  And, sadly, it's not usually the intent of the person to offend or to fail to value a person, it just works out that way due to how they have been taught (or taught themselves) the perceived value of a service.

Allow me to use someone with a Bachelors in Information Technology (computer guy/gal).  It doesn't take long after people finding out what they do before they're asked "Will you look at ______ for me?  I've been having trouble with it?"  The only problem here is that usually this is being asked in the sense of doing a favor for a friend.  In other words, there is no intention of paying the person for their work.  Never mind the fact that they literally paid thousands of dollars and spent hundreds of hours on training to be able to know what they know.  Sure.  Go ahead.  Ask them to do it presumptively for free.

IT professionals are not hardly alone in this phenomenon.  This scenario plays itself out all the time across all kinds of different skill sets.  Artists get asked to help with painting projects, hair stylists get asked to cut/color hair, mechanics get asked to perform auto repairs, people get asked to babysit, musicians are asked to entertain, people with trucks get asked to help move, etc. (I realize that owning a truck isn't a skill, but I think it still qualifies to be in the list of things you get asked to do for free based on something you have that others may not.)

So, can we not ask our friends and acquaintances for help when we need it?  Of course, you can.  But, recognize the actual value of a good or service (not just your perhaps flawed sense of perceived value) and be prepared to pay for it.  Offer to pay for it.  If the friend wants to discount his/her own service/goods then that's another thing entirely, but certainly don't suggest it yourself.  Also, be prepared for the person to decline.  Your relationship is more valuable than the good or service for which is being asked.  If asking a friend for goods or a service, try to provide a reasonable way out.  Keep in mind that it's difficult to say no to a friend even if there is a multitude of perfectly great reasons for declining.  If they seem reluctant to accept, it's because they're probably searching for a good way to decline without hurting your feelings.  Take the hint, don't pressure them, and let them off the hook without applying any guilt.  And for crying out loud, do NOT take offense because someone won't do something for you.  What a lame and self-righteous reason to have an issue with someone.

I recently had an epiphany about value.  I used to believe that the value of something was set solely by what the market was willing to pay for it.  I no longer believe that.  While this is true to some extent, the value of something is also, if not primarily, set by the owner's reluctancy to sell the item.  For example, there is no "blue book" value on a 1942 Buick with no engine.  However, if the owner won't sell it for less than $2,000, then the value is $2,000, regardless of what the market is willing to pay.

The cost of failing to recognize value in goods in the marketplace may result in having to needlessly replace them or simply having to go without them.  The cost of failing to recognize value in services in the marketplace will make you a bad customer or not a customer at all.  The cost of failing to recognize value of goods or services among friends is loss of friendships.  It can become a wedge in the relationship that eventually, if not immediately, ends it.  Nobody wants that.  Don't let Grouponitis invade your relationships.  Value things.  Value service.  Above all, value people.

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Hot Off The Press!

While in Virginia, we stayed with our good friends, the Andersons.  We're coffee drinkers and they evidently aren't.  But, they are great hosts!  They didn't have a drip coffee maker but what they did have was infinitely better:  a french press.

I didn't actually have any experience with a french press so to make some coffee I had to resort to the wisdom of YouTube.  Within minutes, though, I was well on my way to making some of the tastiest coffee I have had in a long while.  Why has someone not turned me on to these before?!

It was pretty much just as easy to make coffee with this thing than a standard drip coffee maker.  It actually took less time to make it.  And, yet, it is way better than what I have waited impatiently for to come out of my drip coffee maker at home.  The best part was that Jodi helped Chena reorganize her kitchen over the course of several hours.  And, they discovered that they actually had two french presses.  And, they sent us home with one of them.  Yay!

Coffee will never be the same at the our house.  Even away from our house for that matter.  Now, we're all set up to make coffee while camping.  If you're a coffee drinker and you haven't tried one of these, I suggest you go buy one.  You won't be disappointed.

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Secret Vacation

I love going on vacation.  But, then again, who doesn't?  It's seriously hard to contain myself.  As I write this it's the Wednesday before we leave for our trip.  Only I can't post this blog.  Why not?  Because I'd rather not announce to the world that I'm not going to be home for a week.  I'd like to come home to a house that's in the same condition we left it.

And this is my dilemma.  I might as well already be on vacation since my mind is already there.  But, I can't talk about it at all with anyone except my wife. And, this I have done quite a bit.  She's very excited, too.

The excitement is not at all just that I'm off of work.  Though, I'm glad to get a break.  The real excitement is that we're doing something that we've never done before.  We're taking a family vacation.  Honestly, we've never done that before.  All five of us will be loading the car down with all of our travel gear and be heading to the east coast to see friends, tour our nation's capital, and enjoy a road trip for the first time.  I even built a DIY roof rack out of EMT electrical conduit on top of the car to hold all of our luggage so that we can stretch out and be more comfortable inside the car.

Jodi and I have been to Myrtle Beach, SC for our honeymoon.  And, we recently came back from Haiti for a vacation/mission trip.  We've taken a few trips with our children to visit family.  But, we've never gone on a trip for the purpose of vacation with all our children.  So, we're super psyched up about it.  It will be a lot of fun.

Unfortunately, if you're reading this, that means that we're actually done with our trip and we're home already since I have to wait to post it until we get back.  The good news is that shortly after this blog should be plenty of posts showing many of the things that we did.  Pictures.  Stories.  Memories.  :)

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Soccer Thursdays

I've started playing soccer once a week with some guys I work with.  It's been a lot of fun and certainly good for me.  A lot of people my age are starting to give the "I'm too old" excuse when I ask them if they want to play.  But, I can't help but think of all the 50-year-old men that I have played with or against over the years.  And a lot of them are still really good.  They're not the fastest on the field, but speed isn't everything.  Smart team ball control makes the game.

It's a pick-up game that's open to whomever, but it's $5 to play.  All the money goes to charity.  This way, not only are we having fun and bettering ourselves physically but we're also improving our community by financing local good works.

By the ever so slight chance that someone comes across this blog and wants to play and lives in or near Springfield, MO, we play every Thursday at 5:30 pm at the turf field at Glendale High School.  That's on Ingram Mill Road a few hundred yards north of Battlefield Road.

In the event that we change the location, time, take a break, or just stop getting together to play, I will amend this blog accordingly.  Otherwise, see you there!

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Friends for a Season

It's Thursday. Last week was my last week with DEI. It doesn't seem like I worked there for very long, but I suppose that the reason for that is probably due to my having worked at SRC for as long as I did. Comparatively speaking, the last 18 months of working at DEI hasn't been too long at all. But, 18 months?! That's a long time, especially when I started entertaining thoughts and plans of doing something else two months into that.

The only thing that's kind of sad about leaving DEI is the fact that I'll likely never see or talk to most of the people there ever again. These are people that I've spent an average of 48 hours a week with for the last year and a half. I know this to be true because of what happened with SRC, high school, and some of my old churches. It's not just me, either. It's true for everyone.

Whether we want to admit it or not, the only reason that we are "friends" with some of the people we are "friends" with is because we go to the same places. Our relationship is better defined by the term "co-worker", "alumni", and... well... I'm not sure what to call our friends at church other than just that.

Maybe that's just it. Maybe it's all in how we introduce them or talk about them. If someone mentions their "friend at church", "friend at work", or "friend from school" they are probably really meaning how they are (or were) friends with them in those places but not necessarily anywhere else.

If this is true, then the definitive question that separates the friends from the "friends" would be: Do you purposefully hang out with or contact these people outside of the places in which you see them on a regular basis? Because, I have quite a few friends that I hang out with outside of church that I go to church with. And, to my best recollection, I refer to them as "friends", as opposed to "friends at church." Likewise, I have lots of "friends from school" but only a couple of friends that I also went to high school with. Is this making sense?

Is it okay to be friends with people for a season? Do you feel guilty for not contacting certain people? Have you ever been offended by someone because they hadn't contacted you? Was someone ever offended because you failed to contact them? In the meantime, check back soon, because I'm going to come up with a mathematical equation that you can do to let you know how many friends your particular lifestyle can support. It'll be fun! I love math!

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Global Go Team

Recently, Jodi and I joined the Global Go Team. They're a missions group made up mostly of young couples from our church. They are a non-profit organization that seeks to help those who couldn't otherwise meet the basic necessities for survival. I won't go into too much detail, since the video and the website do that for me.

Which brings me to my next subject, the video. I was asked to put together a 3 to 5 minute video that summarizes the projects that the team has already accomplished or are in the process of. It was a lot of fun to do, and I feel privileged to be the one that gets to make them. But, as you know, it takes a village. Nate and Cristi Harris, two other Global members, managed to compose the beautiful soundtrack that really carries the feel of the entire video. Esther Hawkins gave it a professional sounding touch with her naturally melodic British accent as the voice over. Deoin Bedell graciously allowed us to invade his recording studio to record both the soundtrack and the voice over. His skill in mastering the audio is nothing short of amazing. And, finally, I wrote the script (with some plagiarism from Global's website), directed and edited the video.

The people that helped the most, though, were the ones who did double-duty and performed both roles of Mom and Dad, while the actual Mom or Dad was preoccupied with the video's creation. These unsung heroes are Jodi Felton, Torrie Bedell, Scott Hawkins, and Nate and Cristi Harris (who took turns recording their respective parts of the soundtrack so that one could be with their children). These people made the video possible just as much as the ones directly involved. Thanks, guys.

So, without further blabbering, here is the much anticipated video. And a link to the website which will have the video on it soon.

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Kansas City Trip

In the last blog I talked about Wilderness Outcry, but that wasn't the only thing that I did on my vacation. We also were able to go to Kansas City and stay with the Imes' for three nights. We had a blast. We really miss having them closer, but they are in a good place and so it's just a bittersweet thing, I suppose.

Among the various items on our play-it-by-ear agenda was playing some serious spades. Even though Mike and I lost to the ladies, it was extremely close and a great nail-biter finish. Good job, girls. You deserved it. I'd like to fins another spades couple because I miss playing the game. Not that the Imes' can be replaced, but surely some couple can fill our need to play between trips to Kansas City.

A nice little bonus was that I got to watch several World Cup games in high definition on a big screen which was amazing! I'm glad that they didn't mind putting up with my sudden sports fanaticism. I thoroughly enjoyed it. I watched several more World Cup games, but HD big screens really do make watching something a better experience.

One of the nights they bought us dinner at Cinzetti's. It's my new favorite restaurant of all time. Too bad the only locations are Denver and Overland Park! It's the only all-you-can-eat authentic Italian food restaurant I've ever heard of. Not just authentic Italian, but GREAT Italian, GOURMET Italian! Everything I had was delicious. I recommend highly.

Also, while we were in town, we went to IHOP (International House of Prayer). IT was an experience that everyone around here needs to come check out. The Sunday morning service was good, but not near as hopping as the Saturday night worship. Hundreds of youth filled the place, many of which were being trained as leaders. There were several people healed including two people with past sports injuries that permanently damaged their rotator cuffs. One was a 20 year-old guy who was the quarterback for his high school football team until the injury took him out of the game. The other was a girl. Both got back full rotation without pain.

I got healed, too. I had had a bad wrist for about two and a half months. One morning, I woke up about 30 minutes before my alarm was to go off. To keep it from waking up anybody else I turned over on my left side so that I was facing it and could shut it off quickly when I woke back up. I don't normally sleep on my left side. When I woke the second time, as my alarm went off, my wrist and neck were really hurting me. The neck pain eventually went away that day, but the wrist never let up. If I put any weight on it, it would snap. I say 'snap' because it wasn't a nice, relieving 'pop' like you might think. It would snap and really hurt. I didn't and still don't know what was wrong with it.

To keep the story as short as possible, I'll just skip to the teenager coming up to me to ask me if he could pray for me. I said, "sure." His prayer was short and afterwards he asked how it felt. I had to admit that it did feel a little better. I couldn't get it to snap anymore, but the pain was still there. I told him so and he asked to pray again. After that prayer it felt even better but still not gone, by any means. So he asked to pray one last time. While he prayed and even after he stopped I felt as if my wrist were wet and a fan was blowing on it. It just felt cool, exposed maybe. I don't know. But, the pain was completely gone. I didn't find any hint of the injury no matter what I did with it. It was awesome!

It's now been two months and I've had no pain come back. It never snapped again after that night either. A thought did come to mind, though, roughly a week after IHOP. I thought, "Maybe it just finally healed on it's own." Upon thinking about that thought, I immediately said out loud, "No, that's not it. Thank you, God, for healing me."

This little thought exchange brought together some recent teachings I've heard and read as well as some revelations I've had while reading the Bible. I realized that people tend to explain away everything that God does. They explain it in a way that it makes sense to them how it happened without God's involvement. Those same people may argue that God was never involved on these matters and that maybe I should stop attributing things to God that can be otherwise explained.

Hmm... sounds like my next blog.

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Pizza Delivery Tip #4

Pizza Delivery Tip #4 - Choose Your Friends Wisely

You never know when your friends may turn on you. Especially when they're broke and they know that you have a job that requires you to carry around a significant amount of cash.

I delivered pizzas for almost two years right out of high school. Most of my friends at the time were ones that I had been running around with for years. Still, there were others that even though I was around a lot, I must admit that I didn't really know all that well. All of them were loyal friends and would've done whatever they could to help me out, but never underestimate what friends lacking morals might do.

I was hanging out with some friends one night after work and was let in on the fact that at one time in the not-so-distant past they had conspired to wait until the end of my shift out back behind the store. When I came out with one of the last deliveries of the night, the plan was to knock me over the head with something and take off with my bank bag. They were really proud of themselves, it seemed, that they had "thought it out" so well. They weren't planning on hurting me too badly, and I would wind up with half the takings, but only after all the police statements and such. See, they wanted to pay me for my trouble, but they didn't want me to know anything about it so that I could honestly tell the police all that I knew about the attackers and not have to lie. This way, I was told, it's completely foolproof.

After they revealed to me their once-upon-a-time-but-never-did plans, I informed them that the "money" that a pizza deliverer carries around with them is mostly in the form of checks, then signed credit card receipts, and finally cash. The first two wouldn't have done any of them any good, and they would've been very disappointed to learn that their "cut" wasn't much more than enough to buy a couple of pizzas with. Furthermore, upon getting my "cut" for the head injury I received, I would have proceeded to beat the tar out of them.

So, beware that your life-long friends may at times just see you as a target for some easy money rather than the pal you've always been to them. It might be a good idea to print up some "Friend Applications" so that you can interview potential friends, have permission to run background checks on them, sift through their school records ,and thoroughly pelt their listed references with every question you can think of.

In reality, though, we choose our friends based off of stipulations other than relational safety. Relationships of all kinds can be hazardous. But, people need people. So, despite the danger, we continue to be a relational creation. It does pay, however, to choose who you relate with, lest you find yourself getting knocked out by your friends who are looking to make all of you a few bucks.

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Thanksgiving 2009

With Thanksgiving slowly becoming a distant memory, all the focus has rapidly turned towards Christmas. However, I would like to pause for a moment and write a quick blog about our Thanksgiving this year.

It all started early this year. Four days early, to be exact. But, any time is a good time to be thankful to God for what we have and who we are. In order to coordinate with all the family members, my mom had Thanksgiving dinner at her house the weekend before Thanksgiving Day. I thought that I might wind up at work Monday with a turkey-hangover, but all was well.

It was a good time. I really enjoyed getting to hangout with everybody, particularly my brother and his family who braved the trip from Michigan. It was a beautiful sunny day, so we all took advantage by hanging out outside and watching the kids ride motorcycles.

Then, for the big day, we hosted Thanksgiving dinner at our house for the first time with Jodi's family and even some of mine. Jodi's family usually has Thanksgiving at Jodi's Aunt Marilyn's house in West Plains. But, she rented the house out this year and I doubt that the renters would have appreciated a bunch of strangers showing up at their door and letting themselves in.

It was a lot of fun and everything turned out wonderful thanks to all the family and friends that pitched in to help with bringing items and preparing the last minute dishes.

A friend of ours brought a cooked turkey with him. Had I known to expect this, I probably wouldn't have bought the largest bird I could find weighing in at over 21 pounds. Oh well. The more the merrier. Both birds were good, but I must say that Jodi did a fantastic job of cooking it and I benefited from a tip that I saw that morning, during the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade, to carve the turkey against the grain of the meat. This makes the turkey really tender and avoids that tough meatiness that most of us associate with turkey.

Having two turkeys left us with a good problem of having multiple pounds of awesome turkey left over. We knew that with the sheer volume of turkey leftover that there was no way that we were going to eat all of it without growing tired of it no matter how good it may be. So, we got inventive. One night, we had fajitas and used the turkey in place of steak or chicken. It was excellent and it took virtually no time at all to prepare since the meat was already cooked. We just heated it up in a pan with some water and a fajita seasoning packet and wahlah!

We still had plenty to go around so I took a bunch and pulled the meat into strings. I then cooked this down slowly with BBQ sauce, water, and brown sugar to make pulled turkey sandwiches. Instead of using bread, I had a bunch of dinner rolls left over that worked perfectly. They were still connected to each other from baking so I took four rolls in a square and cut them in half sideways to make two thick pieces of bread. It was probably full of calories, but tasted wonderful.

The two carcasses made an awesome turkey soup that had a surprising amount of meat. Jodi slow cooked it all night and it was delicious.

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This Little Piggy Went To The Market

With our house pretty much ready to be on the market, Jodi wrote out a list of our house's features so that we could see what kind of listing it would be. It was actually a long list which is great. I kind of felt like it wouldn't be, but I've been guilty of looking at it through a different perspective. We've been in this house for over two and a half years now and even though it has come a long way we still have many projects that we've thought up that we haven't even begun. I'm sure that every home owner probably feels this way when they begin the process of selling their home.

We've put every extra dollar we've had into this house and many more that weren't extra at all. We've sacrificed vacations, fancy dinners, and many other things that lots of people enjoy not because of a lack of funds but because we took our available funds and bought building materials instead. So, in place of lying on a beach for a week one year, we spent a month working after we got home from work.

There are times when I start to wonder what it would be like to live in a house that was new and didn't need anything done to it. I realize that the majority of people live in this category. Or maybe they're not the majority. Maybe they're second to the group of people who live in homes that need work done but choose not to do anything about it. Either way, I wonder if I would be content to live that way or if I would feel compelled to run out and buy a fixer-upper just to tinker with in my spare time.

Speaking of spare time, we never have too much of it around here. Many people don't, so I'm not saying that we're special or anything, but I do take notice of the lack of time to dedicate to maintaining friendships. Sometimes, I wonder why I have friends at all. I rarely call anyone. I very rarely ask anyone to do anything. And, fairly often, when asked to get together with friends I have to decline because of something that we have to do or something we have going on. And, yet, we still have plenty of good friends. I guess, it's because they're good people who choose not to take offense when they don't hear from me.

So, thanks to you all who have hung in there with us. When we're rich and famous we won't forget you. :) But, also to all those who are familiar with our house, I have a job for you. Look at the "listing" below and let me know if you have any suggestions to make it better whether it be a rewording of something, an item to list that we forgot about, or a section to take out altogether. Whatever the suggestion, we'd love to hear it. Thanks!

2-Story
1900+ sq. ft.
3 Bedroom
2 Bathrooms (1 full/1 half) both completely renovated and remodeled
Brand New Kitchen (cabinets galore, black appliances, garbage disposal, built-in recycling center, and many more custom features)
Formal Dining Room
Foyer with built-in bookcase
10 ft ceilings downstairs
Beautiful Molding throughout
Huge Brand New Mud/Utility Room
Refinished Hardwood floors
New ceramic tile in Kitchen, both Baths and Utility
Basement (partial unfinished)
Central Forced Heat and Air
New Roof (2008)
New Gutters (2008)
1 Car Detached Garage (New Roof 2008)
Covered Front Porch
Fenced Backyard w/Garden Wall
Mature Trees and Shrubbery
Alley Access
Great Central Location, Close to Downtown Shopping and Entertainment

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Holiday Rivalry

With Thanksgiving looming right around the corner, many are getting ready for their holiday plans. Many still are already discussing another holiday, though. Christmas. Of course, you don't need me to tell you which holiday is the focus of so many. You've probably already complained to yourself or a friend about the annoying premature appearance of Christmas decor or advertising. Or maybe you've already found yourself humming along to the "elevator music" style Christmas song playing in a public place.

"Why?" is the question that many are asking. What is the reason for the push of Christmas right in the face of Thanksgiving? I realize that holidays aren't people and that it doesn't make a lot of sense to personify them but, but Thanksgiving should be really offended right now. Jodi and I were driving through town and were noticing that many things were going straight from Halloween to Christmas. Where did November go? The City of Springfield has already started illuminating the snowflakes on streetlight posts downtown and possibly elsewhere. Christmas lights are starting to light up more and more homes as the day to give thanks nears. Jodi even spotted a Christmas tree in one home while we were sitting at a stoplight a few blocks from our house.

I've heard a theory on a friend's blog that I have to say makes a lot of sense. Many people think that businesses are advertising Christmas early for the sole purpose of getting people to buy more earlier so that they'll buy more in the long run. While this does make sense and is no doubt one of the bigger reasons for the early push, this theory suggests that it is not the main reason. It suggests that the biggest reason is to purposefully distract from the holiday of Thanksgiving and, in turn, secure the materialistic thoughts in the minds of the consumers.

The whole premise of Thanksgiving is a chance for family and friends to get together and acknowledge all that they have to be thankful for. This very idea undermines everything that Corporate America has worked so hard to build over the last century in the minds of Americans. If we truly get the idea of Thanksgiving, most of us would realize that we have too much and that our friends and family have too much, as well. These feelings would resonate into December and we would suggest ways to get around the materialistic trap of Christmas' gone by. We would place value on what matters, spend less, stress less, and maybe even enjoy the Christmas holiday in ways we never knew we could.

All the big money-makers over the Christmas season would take a measured blow to their forecasted sales bubble. So, how do they fight back and prevail over this possible nation-wide contentment? They help you forget about Thanksgiving. They get you so focused on Christmas that families just wind up using Thanksgiving as a meeting to decide on what everyone wants for Christmas. Out with "Thanks" and in with "Please". No one asks, "What do you need for Christmas?", they ask what you WANT.

I'm not immune to the materialism that I speak of. I, too, have wants. But, I am very content with what I have. I recognize that what I do have was not awarded to me because of my deserving accomplishments for many people who deserve much more have much less, but rather I have been blessed with what I have and will continue to be very thankful for it. After all, the possessions that I value the most can never be purchased at a department store nor lost in a catastrophe.

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Sushi Night

The night before last, Jodi and I invited Cheryl and RJ over for a fun night of sushi rolling. We wound up with a pretty decent mix of sushi and definitely too much. We wound up eating the left-overs for dinner last night and it was plenty even then. And during dinner, Jodi said that she had eaten it for breakfast and lunch as well. So, now we have a pretty good idea about how much rice to make for the specified number of people. We made nigiri-zushi (tightly pressed oval balls of rice with thinly sliced sashimi (raw fish) draped over them) , futomaki (large rolls), and seaweed salad. For the sashimi, we used Atlantic salmon, unagi (freshwater eel), and butterflied shrimp. The eel came pre-grilled and we bought the shrimp frozen and pre-cooked so I'm thinking that they may not technically qualify as sashimi, but I could be wrong. We purchased a rice cooker for this time and I think that it was a good investment. It's nice that you can put in the amount you need and hit a button and it times it and shuts off automatically and everything. We've never burnt the rice before, but now we are sure not to. And, it's nice not having to watch the clock while you prepare all the other ingredients.

Another plus this time around was that we found frozen prepared individual servings of seaweed salad that are actually good like the restaurants we go to. It was disappointing the first time we bought seaweed salad and were not happy with the flavor. So, this is great because it makes for such a good "in-between" between sushi bites. Our ability to make sushi is getting better and better with each time. We're getting a little more experimental each time, too. Before too long, we'll have the techniques down well enough to make it much faster. That's my goal now. We're good at the preparation, but we're slow about it. I'd like to be able to decide to have sushi one day after work and grab some meat on the way home and have it all done within 45 minutes. I wouldn't think that this is too much to ask, especially since you don't have to take the time to cook anything but the rice. It should, therefore, be a fast food. Well, actually, on second thought the rice then has to cool. That's how it gets sticky. So, maybe we could still do it that way, but Jodi would have to throw the rice in the cooker an hour or so before I got home. Yeah, that would work.

Anyway, when deciding to write a blog about the evening's food arrangement, I was reminded of a cartoon that I saw a couple months ago on a Saturday morning. Jacob was watching cartoons and when I heard the announcement "Sushi Pack is coming up next so don't go away!" I admit that I sat down to see what it was all about. It was a cute little cartoon of tiny little superheroes that fight ridiculous-looking villains that threaten their "owner's" sushi restaurant. I just found it funny that "Japanimation" is now animating their food. Of course, that's not really any different than Veggie Tales, I suppose. Anyway, I thought that I'd give the show mention as it fits within the parameters of my blog subject.

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Shocking Story

A friend of mine made the news yesterday. Unfortunately, it was because he was injured while riding his bicycle. But, he wasn't injured in any way that one might easily suspect. Rather, he was hit in the head by a power line that broke away from the pole overhead. The injury from the blow to the head alone would've probably been enough to land him in the hospital, however his troubles were not nearly over. Immediately after the shock of being hit, he was hit with a shock. He managed to crawl away from the mud puddle in which he landed, but the entire incident remains somewhat of a blur for him.

The video of KY3's coverage of the accident can be seen by clicking here. I just received the email from a friend about it and that was the first I heard of it. I'll go see him later, but say a prayer for him that there's no permanent damage.

The News-Leader also ran a short story covering it, as well, on their online publication. In unrelated news, I also am somewhat featured in the News-Leader. I uploaded three photos from our Independence Day weekend and the editors have posted them in the public gallery and requested by email that they have permission to use them in an upcoming piece. I agreed, so we'll see how that turns out. Those photos can be seen here, here, and here. However, they're three of the four photos seen below in yesterday's blog post, so you can see them there a little easier.

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