Goodbye, Facebook

I have decided to delete my facebook account.  It was an easy decision to make, yet did not go without several instances of personal reluctance to do so.

Why?  This is the question I keep getting asked by those who have a facebook account.  I'm not getting asked this question by those who don't have one.  Because, they don't know I'm deleting my account.  And, they don't care.  I look forward to being one of those people.

There is a grand myriad of reasons why I am tossing off the yoke of facebook.  I couldn't list them all if I tried, but I can list some of the top reasons that immediately come to mind.  They are, in no particular order:

• Lack of security.
• Facebook is a business.  They sell your information.  They always have.  And, they don't hide or apologize for this.  It's genius, really.  They have created a motive to get people to willingly profile and track themselves.  Since this information is so specific, it's very valuable for marketing.  Marketing you, that is.
• It's not reality.
•  What people post on facebook doesn't usually say much about them at all.  I cannot compare the time I have spent with friends with the time I have spent reading those same friends' facebook posts.  Time spent with friends is meaningful and I get to know them well.  That time is real and so is the content.  I can't say the same for facebook.
• It's not a responsible use of my time.
• I am married.  I am a father of three children.  I am involved in my church.  I work 50 hours a week.  I have many real friends.  I am renovating a house.  I am restoring a car.  I am coaching a soccer team.  Etc.  Etc.
• With all that I have going on in my life, I don't have time to maintain a digital profile of myself for others' sake of "knowing" me.  Nor, do I have time to browse an endless sea of junk to spot the few tidbits of "knowing" others.
• Define "friends"
• Let's face it.  I'm not friends with most of my facebook's friends list.  I've even been pretty picky about whose friend requests I've accepted.  Still, if not for facebook, I wouldn't know two cents about a lot of people and those people wouldn't know two cents about me.  That's not a bad thing. 
• I know things that I'd rather not know.
• Some of my facebook "friends" and I have not seen eye to eye on things.  And, while it's no requirement of mine that those I associate myself with carry all my same values, I wish there were some others' soapbox speeches I hadn't been exposed to.  I wonder if I would be better friends with some people if I weren't subconsciously using my "facebook impression" of them as a screening tool.  Don't hate on me.  You do it, too.  The difference is that I'm admitting it.
• I read that "Facebook Erodes Real Community" and I agree.
• I know that people don't make as much of an effort to visit friends since the introduction of facebook.  Why would I see that friend I haven't seen in three years when I've seen every post of his/hers since our last visit.  What could I possibly catch up on with them since we're already "caught up".  At the very least, it stands as a seemingly valid justification to put off visiting someone.
• What am I teaching my children?
• Do I want my children to be on facebook?  Maybe you do and that's fine.  Use your own judgement for what's good for your children.  But, I don't know that I want mine on there being exposed to an online social world where people say and do things that they wouldn't say or do in person.  Or, maybe I would allow them to have a limited profile with some heavy monitoring.  I don't know.  But, seriously, when I think about it, I think of how heavy of a burden to parenting it will be if or when it comes up.  Maybe things like that are better left to adults.  Regardless of how I want my children to use or not use it, one thing is for sure: I can't legitimately limit or restrict it's use for my children while I have given myself no limits or restrictions.
• At the end of my life, what total number of hours spent on facebook would satisfy me?
• 1,000?  100?  2?  It seems that whatever the number winds up being, it isn't anything to be proud of.  I tend to think that the greater the number the greater the shame, actually.  I'm glad that I don't know how much time I've burned scrolling, commenting, and liking.  It's too late for me to have 0 in that category.  But, it's certainly not too late to stop the number dead in its tracks.

I could go on, I'm sure, but then I'd be wasting my time doing this.  Plus, my lunch hour is over.  Time to get back to work.

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10th Yeariversary

Yesterday, was Jodi's and my tenth yeariversary.  I've explained what a yeariversary is before, I'm sure, but to those of you who don't know: it's the anniversary to the day we met.  It started with weekiversary then transitioned to monthiversaries.  You get the idea.

Why do we celebrate that day, you ask?  Probably, because it's pretty much when we fell in love.  I say 'pretty much' because love is more than just a moment of infatuation.  It's more than just a connection being made.  It's not a moment in time, so to speak.  You know exactly when you fell down the stairs.  Falling in love isn't so easy to pinpoint to a specific moment in history.  So, we use the day we met since our love most certainly started that day and only grew from there.

To celebrate, we took the children with us out in the cold and snow to downtown.  We had some yummy sushi at Izumi Hatake.  We ordered:

• California Roll
• Philly Roll
• Philly Tempura Roll
• Rainbow Roll
• Jurassic Park Roll
• Passion Roll
• Seaweed Salad

A big order, yes, but that's how we roll.  Get it?  It's our new favorite sushi place in town.  Ralph and Gail Irwin turned us on to it.  Our favorite was the Philly Tempura Roll.  It's probably also the least good for you.  It's fried.  But, it's super good.  The Rainbow Roll was kind of too sweet.  Jurassic Park is great.  I've yet to have a bad Jurassic Park anywhere.  Kai and Haruno also make the Jurassic very well.  The Passion was good, but maybe not our favorite.  It has some great sauce with it, though.  Lyric liked the California and the Philly. It turns out that Ezra is just a California girl.  She didn't like the creamed cheese or the salmon on the  Philly Roll.

We ended the night with a comedy on our new comfy furniture.

I love my wife.  She's the coolest, funniest, and hottest person I know.  The last ten years have been nothing short of awesome.  Looking forward to eternity with her.

P.S.  It's also the day that I bought my '59 Ford truck.  I pretty much love it, too. :)

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Really Coming Together

Just as the title states, the deck is really coming together.  I apologize for the fuzzy photos.  They were all taken in the dark.

As of last night, I managed to knock out the last of the stairs.  Then, I got a great start on the privacy fence.  I got two sections done (minus the top part that will come later).  As you can see, Jodi was adding the first privacy boards to the fence and having a lot of fun doing it.  I love my home renovator wife. :)

This is the part that I really like, because up until now, I've essentially been building a platform pedestal for us to be easily spotted from the street.  This fence makes the whole thing seem like a personal haven.  And, I also feel that it makes it feel bigger.  I thought that maybe the opposite would be true, but it's not.

These next two photos were literally taken in the dark at about 6:20 this morning.  I put the Canon on a tripod and had to set the shutter at 4 seconds with my lowest aperture lens, the 50mm.  I apparently moved the camera on the stair photo, but the fence photo came out alright.

No, the house in the background is not on fire.  They have a back porch light that lit up their backyard tree and the long exposure exaggerated its effect.  Also, in the photo, you get to see our brand new deck fire pit.  We bought it off of Craigslist.  It's not even been used and we got it for $30!  I'm guessing that the reason it hadn't sold earlier was because the seller called it a "fire pitt".  By doing so, it wouldn't have come up in searches.  Thankfully, I searched just "fire" anticipating that some people might call them different things.  To the owner's credit, she was Asian and English was, no doubt, a second language.  Also, there was no photo in the ad.  She texted me photos at my request and I was like, "Yes, please!"

When we get the deck done, I plan on climbing up on my garage roof for a great all-encompassing photo of the finished result.  Until then, I'll try to remember to take photos while it's still daylight.

Here's a quick link to the next deck update blog.

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Home Renovators!

Almost everyone who knows us, also knows that we are DIY home renovators.  But, what is a DIY home renovator?  What does that mean?  Allow me to explain.

We are a rare breed of human.  We're superhuman.  We aren't natural.  We're supernatural.

We see into the future.  We don't gaze upon the work to be done, we visualize the finished result.  We peer into the possibility of a potential project and see what others cannot.  With our house, even our realtor tried to talk us out of it.  "Too much work", she said.  Scoff.  Quiet thy tongue, mortal.  This is our destiny.

We walk through walls.  Literally.  To our home, we've added 12 new doorways and closed off 10 old ones.  We changed the floor plan drastically to make more sense and to add 550 square feet of livable space.

We wear tool belts that shame Batman.  He may have a grapple gun for quick repelling and bat-shaped boomerangs to stun bad guys, but we have tools that shape steel, slice wood, shoot nails, and bond materials.  Batman may have items meant for destruction, but we sport the goods for mass construction.

We have immunity to the elements.  We breathe dust.  We shake off electrocutions.  We eat lead.

Our marriage (with God (the ultimate Renovator) intertwined as the third strand in our cord (Ecclesiastes 4:12) defeats the enemy on all fronts.  This article by a leading home renovation magazine states that a poll they took of their readers showed that over 12% of them have seriously considered a divorce while knee deep in a renovation project.  That's sad, of course.  But, rest assured, the most difficult project is no match for us.

All the joking aside, we really are different.  Major DIY home renovators are certainly the minority in this country.  I found this article online and really liked it.  It is a list of 9 things to do to keep your sanity during a home renovation.  It points out many of the difficulties that one will face when attempting even a small home improvement project, much less a large scale one.  Most people simply aren't cut out for it long term.

Proof that we are on the extreme end of DIY home renovators is the following list I also found online.  It listed 10 home improvement projects that you should NOT attempt to do yourself.  Yeah, we have already performed 8 of the 10.  Pshh.

• Tree Removal
• Cutting down trees, or even removing branches requires climbing and working with dangerous tools from a high distance off the ground. This is disaster waiting to happen, and definitely something better left to professionals who are trained and paid to do this.
• Home Additions Or Structural Changes
• Knocking down walls might seem like a simple task, but behind those walls could be electrical wiring, gas pipes and plumbing that can cause huge problems in your home. Rather than taking a chance, consult a contractor first!
• Paving Your Driveway
• Paving stones can turn a boring driveway into a focal point. And while they look relatively simple to install, the reality is that the measuring and positioning of paving stones can be tremendously time-consuming. (Think of it as a game of Tetris on steroids.) But a team of professionals can cut installation down to a day, depending on your driveway size.
• Electrical Work
• It's one thing to flip a fuse switch to the power in your home on or off, but another to attempt to repair faulty wiring or any other electrical issues without professional help. Working with electrical wires can be deadly and the proper precautions and knowledge are crucial.
• Plumbing Repair
• Unless it's something simple like unclogging a toilet or fixing a drain, messing with plumbing can cause major dilemmas (Just think about an overflowing toilet or unstoppable burst in a pipe...not fun). It's always better to ask a plumber before trying to tackle any plumbing issues on your own.
• Repairing An Above Ground Pool
• While we're sure most people wouldn't attempt to tackle a project like this on their own, we figure we should mention that it would be extremely dangerous to make these repairs. All it takes is one loose piece of siding, and the entire pool could collapse.
• Roof Repair
• Besides the fact that working on top of a roof is very risky because one could easily lose their footing and slip, it can also be detrimental to your home's structure if you don't know the proper way to install or repair roofing. If you are going to check the roof for damages or cleaning gutters, bring a friend and proceed with caution.
• Installing Siding
• If done properly, siding can last for years. But if siding is not securely installed, weather conditions can tear it off, or seep underneath, causing harm to the frame of your home. Rather than taking this chance, it's safer to have a professional install it properly.
• Adding Or Replacing Windows
• Specialized tools and methods are required to properly install new windows to make sure they are well insulated and secure. While it can be costly, a professional can ensure that you'll be comfortable in your home for years to come.
• Creating An Outdoor Kitchen
• We're the first to admit outdoor kitchens are fantastic, but attempting to put one in yourself could be disastrous. It might seem easy enough (a little flooring and a grill-station) but you could end up with a half-finished patio and plumbing gone awry. So while it might be tempting to build one in your backyard, ask yourself if you'll really use the kitchen year-round...and then, of course, call in a pro. 

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Issue of Equality?

Last Tuesday, I was listening to the "Bible Answer Man" radio show on Bott Radio Network.  This is a live broadcast that welcomes people to call in and get a chance to ask whatever question they like.  The show's host, Hank Hanegraaff, then does his best to answer that question from what he sees as a biblical perspective.  I found that I like the show despite the fact that I don't always agree with his answers.  I guess I just like interacting in conversations about things that matter to people and how they relate to the Bible.  Granted, the conversation is taking place without my ability to interact.  But, being a fly on the wall is apparently alright with me since I continue to tune in.

I downloaded the mp3 from the show last Tuesday and trimmed it down to the one caller's two-part question along with Hank's responses.  I have included that at the bottom of this blog entry in case you would like to hear it for yourself.

The question essentially went like this:  Since we are equally granted the inalienable rights of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness, shouldn't same-sex couples be equally granted the same rights and benefits as heterosexual married couples but in the form of civil unions?

This question came from a Christian who thinks that it is "inequality" to give benefits to married people yet deny those same benefits to same-sex couples.  The more common argument is that they want same-sex couples to be granted the right to get legally married thus providing them with the same benefits.  Though, in listening to their arguments, most are not so concerned with the benefits.  They just use them as a point to argue about, but really they're looking to be treated as equals by the law.  This is a tough one to argue simply because, like the photo depicts, one who disagrees with the misguided movement is quickly labeled as a bigot, a hatemonger, a racist (quite the stretch there), intolerant, unloving, etc.

I thought, at first, that Hank was going to answer this question as I would have answered this question but he didn't.  He dived straight into the arguments against redefining marriage.  Which is fine, but I feel that he missed the opportunity to confront the underlying assumption that the question is posing.  The question is assuming that there is a lack of equal rights between a heterosexual man/woman and a man/woman who self-identifies as a homosexual.  The assertion being made is that heterosexuals enjoy a right to marry and the rights to the benefits that go along with that while those who claim to be homosexual are denied those rights.  However, this assumption is simply not true.

The fact is that all adults have the equal right to marry whomever they choose as long as they meet the criteria required to be a lawful marriage.  We all have the same criteria to that right.  Therefore we all have equal rights.  There are certain criteria that need to be met in order to receive a marriage license.  Just off the top of my head, here are some of those criteria:

• There must be two applicants applying for the marriage.  (You can't marry yourself, or your imaginary friend.)
• Both applicants must be humans.  (No explanation necessary.)
• Both applicants must be alive.  (No marrying dead bodies.)
• Both applicants must be present.  (No absentee ballot marriages.)
• Both applicants must be adults.  (I believe that some states will allow minors of a certain age to marry with parental consent, though I don't personally believe this is a good practice.)
• Both applicants must consent to the marriage.  (No forcing marriage on someone.)
• Both applicants must be of sound mind.  (No forcing marriage on someone who may not willfully choose it if they had the ability to properly communicate their wishes.)
• Both applicants must not be immediately related.  (No one seems to be debating this despite the fact that pretty much all of the same arguments being made for the allowance of same-sex marriage also apply to this category.  Right?)
• The two applicants must consist of a man and a woman.  (This gets into the popular "redefinition of marriage" debate.)
• The two applicants must not already be married to another person.  (The polygamy argument.  Not too many debating this one either, albeit with the spotty success of same-sex marriage legalization, more polygamists are coming out of the woodwork looking to piggyback with the same set of arguments and the watered-down legal definition of marriage.)

Since we all have the same rights that have the same restrictions we do have equal rights.  Where the argument takes the turn is when someone makes the statement that they can't legally marry who they love.  What is happening here is two things: 1.  They are trying to say that marriage is the legal recognition of those that love each other.  But, even Tina Turner points out the problem here with her hit song "What's Love Got To Do With It?"  As demonstrated in the list of criteria above, the government doesn't require nor recognize love.  And, we don't want them to.  2. They are trying to shift the equality from people to actions.  But, equality doesn't translate to actions.  Actions are not equal unless they are the same action, which in the example cited (the love between a same-sex couple versus the love between an opposite-sex couple) is not at all the same action.  One can't compare one love to another regardless of "sexual orientation".  But, that is another argument all together.  Hank went straight to this argument when trying to answer the question.  And, I can see why.  He knew that this is where it was going.

Where my answer would've differed is that I would have started with the refutation of the assumption of the question that implied that there is a lack of equal rights happening here.  I did this in the paragraphs above.  Then, to refute that civil unions should be allowed to offer the same benefits to same-sex couples, I would've simply stated that the benefits given to opposite-sex marriages are given because it's the only union that can possibly produce our nation's greatest asset: children.  Same-sex unions can not do this.  The argument goes like this in its purest form:

1. By nature and design, 100% of children are produced by one man and one woman.
2. Only male/female relationships can provide a mother and father to a child — the intuitive ideal supported by countless studies.

Same-sex unions cannot produce children nor can they ever produce the ideal household in which to raise other children.  Without the production of children, our nation will not survive.  And, without the production of ideal child-rearing environments, our nation will fail to produce successful future generations.  It is in the best interests of our government and the advancement of our culture to encourage opposite-sex marriages through whatever means within our power.  Therefore, the government has no business offering same-sex unions the same benefits since their unions are not nor will they ever be equally beneficial to society as opposite-sex marriages have always been.

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Andy & Andy's

Just in case you haven't heard me say it in a while, my wife is the coolest!  Last Friday, she took me out on a surprise date.  She said it was kind of an early Father's Day gift. I didn't know anything about what we were doing until we were outside in the parking lot and she handed me two tickets to see Andy McKee at the Gillioz!  What a cool surprise!  I didn't even know he was in town.

The show was awesome.  He is every bit as good as his videos would suggest.  He's definitely a guitar master with an incredible talent to make his hands do what his mind hears.  That's what's so cool about watching him.  Every song he plays isn't a standard 4-measure-and-repeat but a myriad of different sounds for which he's all over the fret board in no repeatable fashion at all.  Yet, he knows right where he's going next.  No song sheets necessary.

Halfway through the show I was thinking about how God must also find joy in watching Andy use the talents that He gave him.  Then, I just thought how pleased God is to see each one of us use his/her talents.  Not all of our talents are good for entertainment purposes, but we're all talented in different ways nonetheless.  And, like a great dad, He's no doubt our biggest fan.  Just neat to think about.

After the show, I considered hanging around to get a chance to meet with Andy, but at least half of the audience was doing this already and, as cool as it would be to meet him and get our picture with him or something, I was too eager to continue my evening with my beautiful wife.  And, standing around in line didn't seem like the way to spend it.  So, in transition from listening to the smooth sounds of Andy McKee, we hopped over to Andy's Frozen Custard to enjoy some smooth treats aimed at another set of sensory receptors.

Thanks for an amazing date, my love!

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Weight a Minute!

I weighed 8 lbs and 13 ounces when I was born.  That was the least I have ever weighed this side of the womb.  34 years later, I am weighing in at the most I have ever weighed: 204.6 lbs.  I weighed 204 lbs. once before back in 2007, as well.  Since then, I've usually teetered around 195 though have dipped to as low as 185 at times.

It's clear that a sedentary occupation contributes to my weight.  When I have been in a more physically-laborious job role, I have easily kept the weight around 190.  But, I mostly sit in a chair all day anymore.

When my weight gets brought up in conversation, many people are surprised at how much I weigh.  I carry it pretty evenly, so I don't appear to weigh as much as I do.  I'm not real tall, and many taller people find it hard to believe that I weigh more than they do.  But, the scale doesn't lie.  It's brutally honest.

The reason I bring all this up, is because I'm starting a challenge at work.  When there is a competition involved I am many times more likely to hit my goals, so I joined up.  For the next 12 weeks, I'll be getting weighed and measured every week.  There is money involved to be shared by all those hitting their goals and more money to people who are found to maintain even after the competition is over.  I'll be posting all of my measurements on this blog, as well.  The more accountability, the better.

My goal is to lose 20 lbs over the course of the next 12 weeks.  I also have another personal goal, as well.  I met my wife, Jodi, on December 6th, 2003.  I weighed 175 then.  This December will mark our 10th yeariversary.  Yes, that's right.  I said "yeariversary".  Our anniversary is celebrated from when we were married.  Our yeariversary is celebrated from when we met.  One way or another, for our tenth yeariversary, I will weigh 175 lbs again.  That's 29 lbs in 6 months.

So, how will I do this?  Self-control.  It starts with cutting out all the junk that I eat.  I'll also be incorporating several exercises into my life.  I will start riding my bike to work a minimum of twice a week.  I have just joined a weekly soccer pick-up game for charity that will help immensely.  I'm also going to flip the quantity of food that I have at meal times again.  I once had a lot of good results simply from eating a large breakfast.  It positively changed the way I ate the rest of the day and I didn't experience hunger ever.  I'm also keeping a food log on MyFitnessPal.com.  I was using that for a couple months and lost 9 pounds just from keeping my food consumption visual.

Of course, only time will tell whether or not I'm successful.  Everyone has heard people make all kinds of promises and it gets kind of tired hearing the same old jargon.  So, sorry if this sounds like just another one of those.  But, I fully expect to be able to show some pretty good results when I am done.

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Have you ignored this bible verse?

This coming Sunday is Mother's Day.  I had a good talk with mine about a month ago.  We were talking about how I had recently had a conversation with an agnostic who was tossing "commands" in the Bible at me to which some churches don't adhere in an effort to discredit what Christians say about the Bible by first establishing that they themselves don't follow it.  Some of the verses he tossed at me, I needed to do some quick Internet research in order to answer better.  But, they were all answered and I noticed a softening in the speech going back and forth.  He appreciated the answers and was obviously reevaluating his position.

One of the examples I gave my mother sparked her intrigue.  The argument presented goes something like this:  "1 Corinthians 14:34-35 clearly states that women should remain silent in church, yet they don't and I don't see any of you Christians up in arms about it.  You say the Bible is inerrant but you ignore the passages that you don't like and that don't fit your beliefs.  You shouldn't be such hypocrites."

I know people use this phrase too often and quite often when it doesn't truly apply, but I'll say it anyway: it's important to not take things out of context.  The immediate context of verses 34-35 is 36 and it changes the entire meaning of the verses that precede it.  The KJV of verse 36 reads like this "What? came the word of God out from you? or came it unto you only?"

All ancient texts are difficult to understand at times and shouldn't always be taken at face value. Understanding what Paul is saying here would be better understood with some quotation marks in the passage. Paul is quoting a law in the Corinthian church. It was not God's law and cannot be found in any of the OT texts concerning as such. Paul quoted their law and followed it with his own words and his reaction to that quote in verse 36.

Verse 36 makes it very clear that Paul was not in agreement with this so-called law. He was reprimanding them for suppressing women and in doing so suppressing half of the image of God.

It's interesting to note that verse 36 is completely skipped over in most biblical commentaries.  These commentaries will actually affirm the very practice in the Corinthian church that Paul was trying to correct.  And, then they'll just go right on to verse 37 without so much as blinking an eye.  Many churches teach this way, as well.  Just last week I was listening to Bott Radio Network and heard John MacArthur teaching that women have their place in teaching other women and children but not to be speakers in the church and not to have any leadership roles in the church.

This teaching lines up quite well with what the Corinthians were being reprimanded for, yet we have entire denominations of churches that reaffirm this incorrect practice.  To the male leaders of these churches, I would like to reiterate the words of Paul and say to them "What?!  Your word is now the word of God?!  And only through you may God use for His word?!"

Let's not forget that when God created man, he did so in His own image, but that for the first time in all creation God said "it is not good".  The solution to this was to create woman.  God's image is only complete in mankind with the marriage of a man and a woman.  These same churches will use this as a picture of marriage but then ignore it when it comes to the teaching of the gospel.

So, for this Mother's Day, recognize not just your own mother or the mother to your children, but give proper biblical respect to the faithful spiritual mothers that surround us in our churches.

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Ezra Montagne

I just realized that I've never written a blog announcing the birth of Ezra. So, better late than never, right? Sorry, Ezra. No doubt you will be reading this some day.

As a matter of fact, with that in mind. This blog is addressed to you, Ezra. Everyone else can read this if they please, but it's not for them, to them, or about them. It's about you, for you, and to you, my beautiful daughter.

I love you, Ezra. You are my first and only daughter. I don't know how old you are now (your time, when you are reading this), but I hope that you know that I love you. You are two and a half months old (my time), and I know that even as you grow older, you will never be able to shake that image of you from my mind. You will forever be my little girl.


Having a child is strange by itself. I don't know that any parent fully realizes the enormity of the role. Your oldest brother Jacob is eleven and a half. He's getting close to being a teenager and resembles one even now. You would think that I'd be used to the idea that he is my child and I am his parent and in more ways than not I am used to it. However, when I think about, I'm still shocked on so many levels. How did this happen?! Maybe I'm alone in my thinking. Maybe not, maybe every parent feels this way. I don't know. It's wonderful, exciting, terrifying, beautiful, unsettling, rewarding, etc. Parenting is a roller coaster of emotions.

So, if I'm still getting used to being a parent of two boys who've been around for years, how much greater am I feeling unprepared for you, a daughter, a girl, a woman in the making? I'm scared to be one of two of the most responsible people for you in the world. It holds the potential to frighten me to no end.

That being said, I am also unimaginably thankful for the opportunity to be that person in your life. I'm honored that God would place you in my care and entrust me with such a role. I may know that I am unequipped to raise you and teach you and guide you, but I know without a shadow of a doubt that God is perfectly equipped to do such a job. And, with He as my guide, I will never fail you in any way.

I love you, Ezra. And, I will seek to treasure every moment we have together.

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6th Anniversary

Jodi and I celebrated our sixth anniversary this last weekend. We didn't do anything too special, but had a great time just getting to spend time with each other while we ran around a little and relaxed a little more.

We started out the day with a breakfast of champions. That's right. T-bone steaks and eggs. Mmmmm. We also were very giggly and had some true comic moments. What a wonderful way to start a day. Protein and laughter.

We tried out a new flea market,Springfield Flea Market & Gifts, and checked out one we'd been to before right behind the first one. It was fun and we saw some neat things and bought a few little things. The second one was better than last time, but still not my favorite place to go. They have tons of furniture and I'd say that's their specialty. But, Jodi made a great point about if they would set it up with pieces that went together, they'd probably sell a lot more of it. It's all just crammed in there now with no rhyme or reason.

After just the two flea markets we were ready for a treat. So, to Krispy Kreme we went. For lunch. Hey, don't judge. It was a special day. We stuffed ourselves silly. It was a good thing that we were sitting by the window in the bright sunlight, because I'm sure that the Vitamin D from the sun was the only vitamins we managed to consume while being there. Unless there is such thing as a coffee vitamin. Maybe there should be.

Afterwards, we drove home and just chilled out in the air conditioning and watched some Netflix.

It was a good day. I love my wife. We have fun together.

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8 Simple Rules

I have a wonderful marriage. It's easy for me to say it, too. It's not wishful thinking. It's not hopeful optimism. It's simply true. I'm not comparing my marriage to other marriages, either.

Back on the sixth of this month, Jodi and I had our seventh yeariversary (the anniversary of the day we met). Of those seven years, we've enjoyed 5 years and 5 months of an amazing marriage and I would like to share some marriage basics to the men out there that stand to only improve your marriage (women will surely gain from this advice, too, so keep reading, ladies). The following list is not in any particular order nor is it complete, by any means. I didn't make them all up, but they all did come out of my head. Who knows for certain how they got there?

1. Say "I'm sorry."


When arguments arise, and they will, apologize. No matter how right you may be, apologize. Chances are you hurt her feelings by something you said, or did, or maybe just the look on your face struck a powerful emotional blow to her. Regardless, you should be sorry. Yes, you should. Yes, you should. Stop arguing with me. You should be sorry for hurting her feelings. You should be sorry that you're not having a good time together. You should be sorry for your role in contributing to the disagreement. She should be sorry, too, but whether she is or not doesn't excuse you from what I'm saying to you. You're the leader here, right? The head of the home? Then, lead her. Say you're sorry first and mean it. Put aside your hurts. You're a man. You can do it.


2. Smile when you reconnect.


Whether it's coming home from a 12-hour shift at work, or coming in from taking out the trash greet her with a smile, at the very least. Your greeting sets the tone for the time you will be spending together. If you come home immediately complaining about work, expect a negative and overwhelmed atmosphere all night. Contrasting that, try smiling at her like you just met her when you get home. Give her a hug. Make the time you get home something that is looked forward to all day by you and the others in your home.


3. Pray for her.


This is key. Even if you don't believe in God, pray anyway. What if you are wrong about God and he does exist, then at least she'll be doing well for your answered prayer. Even so, praying for someone is the best way to relieve any unforgiveness you may have against that person. And, that's good for everybody.


4. Replace "I deserve..." with "I'm thankful."


Let's face it, our first instinct as humans is to protect ourselves and serve ourselves. However, our selfish instincts don't really know best when it comes to bringing lasting happiness to ourselves. All too often, people tell themselves that they deserve something that they don't. For example: "I worked all day, I deserve to sit & relax for a few hours." Why do you think you deserve these things? Who decided that periods of work deserve periods of laziness? When you hear an "I deserve ..." thought coming on replace it with what you are thankful for instead, like maybe a house (that needs a little TLC), wife (that needs a little TLC), kids (that need a little TLC), pets ("), ... The list goes on and on. You want all these things because they bring you joy, but do not forsake them because you are a little tired. They will revive you better than any "me" time.


5. Laugh often.


Our moods are chosen. Make no mistake. Do not let anyone else tell you otherwise. Your emotions have no control over you. You are not a slave to your surroundings. You decide how people will affect your day. You choose how your circumstances will shape your countenance. Choose joy. Shake off all negativity. Attack it with optimism. People will love you for it.


6. Don't go to bed angry.


This is an old one. And so true, too. Ephesians 4:26 says, "...let not the sun set upon your wrath." Old anger turns to bitterness and can defile many. It can become unforgiveness, that hurts the bearer worse than the ones he holds unforgiveness towards. Deal with your stuff. You don't need time to think. You need guts to deal. Be strong, man up. Fix it.


7. Do things together.


I've never met an obviously happy couple that didn't do virtually everything together. And, I've seen many unhappy couples who don't hardly do anything together. One watches the game while the other does something else. One tinkers in the garage, the other scrapbooks. One hangs out with the guys playing cards, the other goes out with the girls. Find some things that you both enjoy. If you can't think of anything that you both enjoy, then go sit at a coffee shop and talk until you come up with something. Don't drink coffee? Have some water, then. If you don't look forward to time spent with your spouse, then you need to change something.


8. Help each other


You each have your roles to play to maintain the lifestyle that you have chosen. Each of you have your part and a set of responsibilities, but many people will wind up excusing themselves from the other's responsibilities and refusing to help on the grounds that “that's not my job.” But, that attitude only causes problems. It's better to make it a competition of who can do more for the other. If you're both trying to please the other, then you both will be endlessly happy. However, if you are only out to do things to get for yourself, then not only will you not be happy, but you will eventually lack motivation to do much of anything at all. I'll borrow from John F. Kennedy here and say that it's not what your spouse can do for you, it's what you can do for your spouse.

God created everything and then He "saw that it was good." Then He created man and said, "it is not good for man to be alone." So, He created a wife for man. You all know the story. But, notice, when He saw that it wasn't good for man to be alone, He didn't create a TV, or football, or all-you-can-eat buffets, or bars, or a bad influence of a friend, or four-wheel drives, etc. He created him a wife. Marriage can be such a fulfilling life to you, but you have to follow some rules. Like these here. Rules not to stop you from having fun, but rules set to teach you how to have lasting fun, happiness, and joy until death do you part.

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How I Met Your Mother

It was December 6th, 2003. I had long hair again. I had grown my hair out over the course of the previous year or better in the same style that I had had through the latter three years of high school. It wasn't too popular of a hair style then, but acceptable nonetheless. It definitely wasn't in style in 2003. Not hardly, but I didn't care.

It was about 1:00 AM if I remember right and I was playing a game of cards called "Spit" with my friend, Gabe, over at Shannon's house. Shannon told us that her friend Jodi was coming over. Then the two of them proceeded to tell me about her not even attempting to conceal the fact that they thought that we would be a good match. Again, I didn't really care.

I had this picture in my head for the future and it was Jacob coming home after school in his car, and I'd be in the garage or yard working on something. Just two guys living their lives. I couldn't fathom anything else, really. So, the prospect of meeting a girl who my friends thought that I would like didn't really interest me.

Then, this girl enters the room. Despite all of what I just told you, she captured my full attention as she walked across the room, found a chair while still talking to Shannon, greeted Gabe, and then finally made eye contact with me. My brain had failed to complete a thought throughout that time. It didn't start working again until after we were introduced. My first thought afterward was, "I really like this girl." The thought immediately following that one, though, was "Yeah, but she's out of my league."

As the night (morning) went on, the four of us had a good time just sitting around talking. Shannon's next door neighbor, Adam, even came over and hung out with us for a while. However, the time finally came when some sleep was going to have to get slept. I had a truck to go buy at 9:00 in Republic, a 1959 Ford F-100, and I was going to have to drag Gabe out of bed to drive me out there so that I could drive it back. I wanted to see Jodi again, but I didn't know how to go about making that happen without being blatantly obvious about it. We were parting ways and I could feel the opportunity slipping from my fingers. To delay, I offered my hand in a formal handshake while telling her that it was nice meeting her. She took my offer and repeated it back to me with a smile. The words we spoke played no role in our communication in that brief moment for it was all in the handshake. A handshake mutually prolonged to let each other know of our interest in the other. Not so delayed to be terribly transparent, just long enough to be unmistakably noticed. Then, with just as much subtlety as the handshake, came the graceful release that included an ever-so-light, almost imperceptible grazing of her fingertips across my palm as our hands separated.

There was no doubt, at that moment, that I would see her again. I didn't know how, when or where. I just knew.

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5th Anniversary

This year's anniversary was our fifth! My mom took the kids so Jodi and I could run off to Branson for the weekend. It was a lot of fun hanging out with my girl all weekend with almost nothing on the agenda.

It was also a very successful weekend. Many weeks ago (not sure how many) Jodi's mom sent her a picture of a tall lady statue that was clearly from the same maker as the tall lady statue that Jodi bought at a yard sale a long time ago. Jodi wanted it, so we decided that we'd look for it while in Branson. Long story made short, we found it. Jodi had painted the one that she bought years ago. This one has its original paint on it still and looks good.

At the same flea market, I found (in a basket of random old photography stuff) a 58mm polarizing filter for my camera lenses. I have wanted one of these for a while, but have failed to buy one until now. They're not real expensive or anything, but with shipping and everything I've just never made that commitment. There was no price on it so I asked the owners of the store and they called the owners of the booth who relayed back to me that they wanted $2.50 for it. SOLD! I love it. It really cuts out the glare in outdoor photos.

We ate a lot of good food over the weekend including panini sandwiches with iced mocha cappuccinos at Big Cedar Resort. We also ordered some yummy dishes from the White River Fish House on the Landing with which we started with an Alligator Tail appetizer. We also were able to sit and do some relaxing with some good ol' HGTV. We love that channel and rarely get to see it.

A nice ending to our weekend was when Jodi defied what she was told and decided to go out on a limb anyway and try to sell some of the jewelry that her and Tara had been making. She casually brought it up to the Accessories buyer for Apricot Lane and the girl immediately bought 18 rings from Jodi! AANNDD, they discussed becoming a supplier of these rings for both the store on the Landing and the one in the mall in Springfield. I'm so proud of her!

So, great weekend! We missed a bunch of things going on, but we had a pretty good excuse and I wouldn't trade quality time with my wife for anything. Love you, baby!

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4th Anniversary

Yesterday was Jodi's and my fourth anniversary. We had a nice day that was full of nontraditional anniversary events, but nice all the same.

After getting out and hitting several stores to look for or pick up various items in need, we came home to put the kiddo to bed who had just fallen asleep in the van after telling me that he was sleepy. While the boy napped, I removed a nail from a van tire and plugged it. Then, I put the replacement part that we picked up that morning from Lowe's on the toilet upstairs getting it back into proper functionality. Then, after we both showered and primped ourselves into two stunning individuals, we headed over to Jennie's house to drop off Lyric with probably the most spoiling babysitter he's ever had.

Jennie's gracious gift to us was a free meal at Hemingway's. Our plates were full of Chicken Curry, Fried Catfish, Fried Shrimp, BBQ Ribs, and Jodi's favorite, Crab Legs. It was a great meal followed by some thrift store shopping and finally a little bit of relaxation before calling it a day.

It was a great day, the 1,441st day of our marriage. I'm really looking forward to the rest of my life with Jodi.

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3rd Anniversary Dinner

Last night, Jodi and I celebrated our third wedding anniversary by eating out at Haruno. We don't eat sushi as much as we would like, so it's a real treat when we get to go out and order whatever we want. We started out with a seaweed salad and a squid salad. They were delicious and we have to somehow find out the secret recipe. We then ordered four rolls including Jurassic Park, Pink Panther, Shrimp Tempura, and Sex and the City. They were all wonderful and very different.

We then ended the night with the opposite of a nightcap by enjoying some Starbucks mocha coffees while perusing books at Barnes and Noble. It was a fun evening that we've looked forward to since deciding on it last week. It was in no way a disappointment despite its hype all week and I'm sure that it will tempt us to make sushi at home before too long with a new attempt at a seaweed salad that is equivalent to the Haruno's tasty version.

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I'm sorry...I'm back!

I've been neglecting my blog page, I know. I promise that it has not been on purpose. I bet you guys must be picturing me laying around the house watching television and stuffing my face with potato chips. I'm not. I've been diligently working on a web page for the cell group that I attend. I've put a lot of work into the page and I am very happy with the results. You should check it out. I managed to utilize some home made graphics to make the site look really good, in my opinion. And, with all the great ideas from James it should be a useful tool for our cell group. I'm excited about it if you can't tell.
So, now that the site is in working order and doesn't really need any more work for now, I will be free to resume my regular blog posting habits. In the meantime, check out the page I'm talking about. There is a link to it on the right side of my blog page "Deep Water Cell Group" found under the fellow bloggers list.
Otherwise, I'm playing my first wedding reception tonight. I'm not really nervous about it like I thought I might be. Probably because I'm only playing two songs. "When God Made You" and "Bring It On Home". Yes, the second one is a country song. But, in its defense, I must say it's an alright country song as country songs go. In other words, it's not about beer, divorce, and infidelity. I know what you're thinking, and I don't know how it officially qualifies as a country song either without those pillars of country music.
I sort of feel like The Wedding Singer, though. I just hope that I don't need to do a toast or anything, because I don't have Adam Sandler's charm in front of a crowd. I do well in small groups of people I know, but pulling off likability amongst total strangers is not a talent that I have in my repertoire. Wish me luck!

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It's a BOY!

I was definitely not expecting a boy, but I am very excited! Biased by growing up a boy with one brother, no doubt, I always wanted two boys. I did discover years ago that I did want a girl after all, though. I'm still a little in shock about this baby being male, but I'm sure it will take some time to sink in. I hope that Jodi doesn't mind being overrun even more by this masculine addition.
I apologize for the quick and short blog, but we have to go back to the doctor now to get told all the details and the particulars about the size and all the measurements they took of the internal organs and all that good stuff. But, I wanted to let all my readers know as soon as possible. So, now you know!

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