Recipe for Disaster

A little over a week ago I decided to get inventive in the kitchen. I've had experiences in this manner where creativity turned out to be a discovery of a good thing and a couple times the turn out even became a new favorite dish. However, this go 'round wasn't so prosperous as with previous adventures.

My line of thinking was that many people put lemon juice on fish to give it a slight zesty flavor. Commonly this is on fried fish but I wasn't in the mood to break out the Fry Daddy so I decided to see what would happen to skillet grilled fish. I took this thinking even further away from the safety of the norm when I spotted our bag of grapefruits. I thought, "Hey, I like grapefruit." So, I substituted the ruby red citrus goodness for the little bottle of lemon juice and thought that I was on to something big. This may have turned out pretty good if maybe I had squirted a little grapefruit juice on the fish while it was in the pan. But, I was on a creative roll. How could I possibly do what was expected of me. No, I would impress everyone with my culinary skills and do something abstract!

I sliced the grapefruit and placed it atop the fish while it was cooking, thinking that, like chicken, most of the flavor of the grapefruit wouldn't permeate the surface of the meat. Here's your chance to show off, readers. Raise your hand if you know that fish is more porous of a meat than chicken. Well, I wasn't so aware of it.

The wife came home and dinner was served. I was excited to find out what kind of life I had managed to inject into such a boring dinner otherwise but all my hopes of starting my own pay-per-view cooking show were crushed when the first bite hit my tongue. The back corners of my mouth twisted with a speed reminiscent to my first ever dual squirt of liquid Warheads. And, that is saying something because I like grapefruit a lot.

The wife tried to salvage the moment and quickly compliment my cooking, but the boy couldn't lie and neither could his twisted face. His reaction to the fish's taste was only outperformed by the horror of the realization that he was going to be forced to choke it all down in order to gain the ability to leave the table. We, instead, gave him the option to have a couple corn dogs, an offer he just couldn't refuse.

So, let my misfortune be a lesson to all those that read this: Grapefruit was not meant to be a marinade. This has been "Cooking With Levi". Until next time ... (in unison with the live audience) HAPPY COOKING!!

Posted in: comedy,food